Blue Oyster Club

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Are those free local sex hookups real?

Posted on | February 28, 2017 | No Comments

The first time my buddy Roland told me that he hooked up with free local sex hookups, I couldn’t stop laughing.  In fact, all my other co-workers and friends were pointing at him and laughing like he’d shit in his pants.  The guy left the room red-faced and he couldn’t look at us in the eye for a few days afterwards.  However, we’d started noticing that he started coming to work with a big smile on his face.  He looked exactly like the cat that ate the house bird.  So, we asked him, “Why do you look so happy?”  Well, it turns out that Roland, the typical butt of office jokes has been hooking up so frequently that he felt like a porn star.

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The guy isn’t bragging because he has nothing to brag about.  He drives a beat up Honda.  He makes minimum wage, he looks like a pineapple that’s been rotting in the sun for three weeks straight.  Still, he was hooking up with pussy and to verify his wild claims, believe me, people were rolling their eyes, he agreed to meet us with a couple of chicks that he met online at local sex hookup site.

So, he showed up at the bar, ordered a round of drinks for everybody and people held their breath half expecting that Roland would show up empty-handed and people will have a good time laughing at him.  Well, it turns out that he rolled in with two chicks that looked like twins of Paris Hilton.  I’m not shitting you.  It really blew everybody’s minds.  What was Roland’s secret?  Very simple: he joined websites that offer free local sex hookups.

I’m telling you right now, after that incident, all my office crew started hitting all these websites.  Well, the problem is economics got the best of them.  Whenever you flood a website offering a particular commodity or supply with a huge amount of demand, what do you think will happen?  That’s right.  There would be less supply for remaining demand.  We were back to zero.  But Roland didn’t care because he already compiled a huge black book of phone numbers and he’s fucking like a pimp.  Hats off to Roland and a great salute to you, brother.

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